What does it mean to be in a supportive relationship?

Circa's Peepshow- photo by Kurt Petersen (3)

Summer sunshine was blazing through the day until going into the tent for the circus performing act Circa we were about to watch. I sat next to a friend and we stare at the seating where an intimate surrounding can be felt with all the chairs packed closely together around a small centre stage.

The performance was utterly amusing, fantastical and quirky. The artistry mixed with the lighting made a beautiful show. There was what I called a hula hoop queen and acrobatics merged with comical elements that kept the audience in awe.

Circa's Peepshow- photo by Kurt Petersen (9)

And like the performers, they relied upon each other to create the mesmerising moves and this should be the case when you need your partner the most to help lift you and support you. As I watched the torsos twist and turn, a thought also rose of why I knew for sure that a guy I had dated would not be someone I could be with as he said he would take away the things I would need most at a time when I felt at a low. I was there to support him at a time he felt at his lowest so it wouldn’t work if he couldn’t do the same for me.

It can feel cumbersome constantly holding someone else’s emotional weight; that’s why it’s a good idea to have others you can count on or turn to. And once you know you have those good friends by your side (very rare thing), you can feel even more secure as you do things solo as seen by the magnificent display by one of the performers Jarred Dewey whilst on the trapeze.

The ending for me, with a toned-down version of the song Sweet Dreams by Eurythmics, was poignant alongside the beautiful structures the artists created.

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Here are a few questions to go through to see if your partner is supportive of you:

When you feel low in terms of other aspects of your life, such as work or stressful situations, does your partner react to make sure you’re okay? i.e. this could be in terms of giving guidance, cheering you up, thinking of alternatives of what you could do to get out of not-such-a-good-state

Does he/she talk to you in a disrespectful or condescending tone of voice?

When you feel down and may need something, does he turn into the victim and require a pity party?

When there is something that your partner knows will make you happy, does he/she stop doing this, especially when you may need it most?

If you’ve answered yes to the majority of the questions, you may need to have a heart to heart with your partner on what to do together moving forward and if there isn’t any improvement, it may be time to cut ties with the one you’re with

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One thought on “What does it mean to be in a supportive relationship?

  1. Pingback: He needs a mamma, a nanny or a sugar mamma – NOT a girlfriend

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