A friend of mine spoke with me on how he was worried about dating as he hadn’t been dating for a while or had even been in a long-term relationship before.
I mentioned to him that we’re not getting any younger by holding back and not putting ourselves out there or being open to finding someone.
Here are a few things I did that helped me before going on any dates:
I made a list of what I wanted
Before setting out on any dates or having any one-on-ones that I thought I might have liked, I took some time out and considered what I wanted in a partner. For example, first think of a top must-have quality in a person you would like to have a relationship with, then following this – have a top five list of qualities and what I would call a bonus trait.
Now these traits were not overly specific like he has to be 176.567cm tall, six-pac, has a PhD, two amazing siblings I get on with, has a boat and a Porsche… I think you get my drift. But the traits are preferences of what I liked look-wise or characteristics. For example, a list could include the following:
3. Emotionally secure
4. Brown hair
5. Athletic build
(These are not my top 7s – these )
Having these ‘givens’, you now know what you’re looking for instead of going into a dating world where you didn’t have an initial focus on what you wanted in a partner. And believe me, it is so much better to have this list than not as it weeds out those that you don’t like quicker.
I got to know their text-speak
I began speaking with my dates through text or messaging of some sort. I’d prefer the guy to ask for my number, though I’ve gone straight ahead and asked for a guy’s number before on different occasions because I wanted to. Start messaging each other regularly (this is also a sign that he/she is into you as they’re giving you the time of day to message back).
From messaging I got a feel for the other person’s interests and phone humour. This is a good way to see if they’re compatible with yours and that you kind of get each other’s text-speak, which I personally think is a good thing right off the bat.
Having a few jokes and chit chats are good through text but keep it to details like where you’re going to meet and nothing too personal if you don’t feel appropriate for you!
I think finding someone that tickles some of your senses can only be a strong starting point and who knows what it’ll blossom into?
You’ll soon find someone you want to go on a date with and to get some places of where to go – check out our date ideas through the website